


Torn

by Whiteasy



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, M/M, Mentioned Bertolt Hoover/Jean Kirstein - Freeform, Polyamory, no infidelity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:54:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27934965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whiteasy/pseuds/Whiteasy
Summary: He sincerely loved his boyfriend, but he also loved another.
Relationships: Reiner Braun/Bertolt Hoover, Reiner Braun/Marcel Galliard | Berwick
Series: Tumblr Drabbles [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2045539
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

Sometimes, he thought about leaving Marcel. He loved him, fiercely, and he knew Marcel loved him just as much, if not more.

Marcel had told him once that when he’d close his eyes, and try to imagine the universe, he’d see his face. He told him he thought the world of him and, Reiner believed him. Marcel was never the kind of man to open up easily about his feelings, yet Reiner he would never lie about his for him. 

Yet, in some nights, when he’s cold and alone and thinking about Bertholdt in the opposite side of his bedroom, he wishes he was selfish enough to cross the short, dim corridor and climb into his bed. Bertholdt would hold him and stroke his hair tenderly, because he’s that good to him, to everyone. 

Bertholdt would tell him though he shouldn’t give up on Marcel. 

If they switched places, Reiner would also ask the other didn’t give up on Jean either. 

Reiner would then cry himself to sleep, aching and ashamed, every time he felt this temptation to let go of everything and be selfish. 

What hurt him most though was that whenever he remembered Marcel’s confession to him, he’d feel pang of guilt for not being able to tell him the same. 

Truth was, when he pictured the world, he also saw no maps, no land, no sea. 

He saw Marcel, but he also saw Bertholdt. 

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This doesn't follow any timeline, for now

Every time Reiner gazed into Marcel’s eyes, he always felt taken-aback by the sadness in his gaze. Before he knew it, he had come to associate sorrow and chagrin with Marcel.

For as long as he had known him, Marcel had always looked at him that way. That peculiar way, as if Reiner was an illusion his brain had crafted, and that he lived all his life waiting for it to shatter. He had told him once that, sometimes, he couldn’t believe Reiner was real. That the nights they spent, legs intertwined and tangled in their sheets, were nothing but the product of his wild imagination.

Reiner told him he was being cheesy, expecting his remark to elicit a laugh from him, an admission, anything.

Marcel didn’t laugh. He didn’t say anything. He just stared at him, gaze distant.

It had scared Reiner then. It had scared him so much, he had wanted to cry.


End file.
